#i was raised in an evangelical christian cult
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And yet, despite everything going on right now, I'm still thinking about converting to Judaism.
#i'm just not sure i have the self-discipline required#and maybe it's better for me to stay a goyishe ally#because maybe i can help more from the outside?#anyway it's something i've been turning over in my head for years#i was raised in an evangelical christian cult#but one that taught that jews were above christians in the heavenly hierarchy#that jesus died to save everyone else#and that christians had a sacred duty to protect the jewish people#which i guess is better than wanting to use them as a blood sacrifice to bring back jesus#but it still seems uncomfortably paternalistic to me#so i guess i'm still kinda untangling the views my upbringing instilled in me from my own sense of morality and justice#and i think i have more work to do on that front before i make a decision#i de-converted from christianity in 2006 and was an atheist for almost 20 years#and now i consider myself to be just sort of vaguely pagan#but the thought of becoming a jew still holds a lot of appeal for me even now
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I was raised in the People of Destiny cult (later renamed, and more well-known as, Sovereign Grace Ministries, now Sovereign Grace Churches).
The valorization of martyrdom and The End Times was so ubiquitous it was ambient noise. We stood in the church lobby theorizing about who the antichrist would be, we argued about whether Jesus would rapture us all before, after, or during the Tribulation Period where Satan would be given free reign over the earth. There was a strong Christian Zionist fixation on Israel as the final battleground and capital of the coming Messianic Age. But the one thing we were all certain of was is that we were in the End Times, that we were not of this world and couldnāt get too attached to our lives here.
We were raised to believe our sin nature made us undeserving of life, that we deserved death and eternal conscious torture.
My parents read us the Jesus Freaks books (a series by Christian Rap group DC Talk about martyrs). I spent ādevotional timeā reading Foxās Book of Martyrs. We had guest speakers from Voice of the Martyrs, their pamphlets were often stocked in our churchās information center. We grew up with our dad listening to right wing talk radio and making us listen to songs about how the Godless atheists were outlawing Christianity in America, that we could all become martyrs soon.
The groupās theology was damaging & traumatic in a lot of other ways that contributed to the suicidality I have continued to struggle with for the rest of my life. For a long time I did not believe I would live past 20. There are times when the idea of giving my death meaning by using public suicide to make a political statement has appealed to me.
So now, seeing so many social media posts glorifying the suicide of a US Airman this week, I have been furious. Reading his social media posts, I recognize so much about the way I was raised in his all-or-nothing, black-or-white mindset, the valorization of death-seeking & martyrdom, and the apocalyptic fire-and-brimstone imagery of self-immolation. The moment I saw people I followed celebrating his self-immolation, I said to myself āthis feels like a cultā
So when I learned he was raised in a cult too, nothing could have made more sense to me. His political orientation may have changed, but his mindset did notāit was no less extreme or cult-like.
Iāve talked about so many of the reasons this response from the broader left scares me, including how itās laundering that airmanās antisemitic beliefs, but I cannot think of anything that would hit me in a more personal place than this specific response to this specific situation has.
When I see the images, I think: that could have been me. That scares me, and what scares me more is that so many prominent people are overwhelmingly sending the message to people like me that there is nothing else we can do that would have a more meaningful impact than killing ourselves for the cause.
I do not believe that. I will not even entertain it. And having to see his death over and over and over again, to argue against people who are treating this like an intellectual/moral exercise or a valid debate we all have to consider has been immensely triggering and fills me with a rage I rarely feel. Itās unconscionable that we are even putting self-harm on the table, and that pushing back against that is somehow controversial.
There is hope. Our lives do have meaning. There are far more effective means of fighting injustice. And the world is a better place for having you in it. Donāt fall into believing this is a way to give life purpose.
#he was raised in a different cult than me but there is significant overlap in the Community of Jesus & People of Destiny worldviews#EDIT: I originally said the Tribulations were ā7 1/2ā years but this was me confusing the āa time times & half a timeā from Daniel#with the idea of a 7 year tribulation#itās been forever and a lifetime since I lived in that world so the exact theological details can be hazy#death cult shit#extremely traumatic content#i/p#cw suicide#religious trauma#cw trauma#antisemitism#pdi international#people of destiny cult#sgm cult#sovereign grace cult#christian cult#cult survivor#death cult#evangelical āapocalypticism#exvangelical
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friendly reminder that what most people refer to as evangelical Christianity basically just refers to nondenominational Protestantism
#I just saw someone say ''almost all evangelical Christian orgs use cult tactics'' and um. does that person realize#that they just said that any church that isn't a part of a denomination is like a cult#bc that's just.... painting with too broad a brush#I don't deny that there are a LOT of bad churches and manipulative ones and that should ABSOLUTELY be called out#but like... I'm a nondenom protestant. and my dad was raised in an ACTUAL cult. I think there's a difference :/#delete later probably
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Hazbin Hotel Has Better Theology Than Most Modern "Christian" Stories
As a Christian who was raised in a fundie cult and escaped to now have a far healthier and vital faith, I genuinely really like this show. The songs are bops. The characters are well crafted and interesting, and likable too. The art design is bizarre but appealing.
And, as a theology nerd who studied theology as part leaving said cult and also has since gotten papers published in theology, I'm actually fairly impressed by the show's handling of theology.
No, I'm not expecting the story to preach or even like, be explicitly Christian in a lot of ways. But it's taking a lot of the really beautiful aspects of Christian theology and re-contextualizing them in a way designed to provoke thought: by juxtaposing them with the antithesis of what you would think, by making demons heroes. In my opinion, this makes the beauty shine brighter.
Yeah, yeah, it's designed to be offensive and obscene in a lot of ways. Yet, it's never (thus far) mean-spirited. On the contrary, it seems to have a big, beating heart at its core that is perhaps best embodied by Charlie Morningstar, its protagonist and the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith.
Critique of the Church, with Caveats
The story works best with an interpretation that heaven isn't actually heaven or God (who has been conspicuously absent), but instead as a critique of the church. Specifically, the evangelical American church, and specifically, white evangelicals. (Same as She-Ra's premise, actually).
God's absence therefore makes sense, because while Christians do believe God is present as a living reality among us, we also can't like, see him physically now. So, God being not even mentioned in HH makes it seem more like a mortal reality rather than an immortal one. Honestly I kinda hope God doesn't appear in the story, not only because I think it could cross some lines (which is admittedly personal), but also because I don't see that the story really needs it.
Adam in particular reminds me of every "theobro" on Twitter (I'm not calling it what you want me to, El*n). Basically a dudebro coopting his supposed salvation to flex in an often misogynistic way, who doesn't realize that he has absolutely no love in him and therefore is actually a worse human being than everyone he condemns on the regular.
(Which is kind of why I'm expecting Adam to wake up in hell next season...)
Think red hats. And Mark Driscoll. And, I have a list of pastors. Sigh. They advocate for how "simple" Christianity is, except they themselves make it ridiculously complicated and don't even examine what they suppose is "simple" if it requires them to take the planks out of their own eyes. "Shallow" is a better description of what they actually preach.
But what sends people to hell or heaven anyways?
Eschatology and Atonement Theory
Hazbin Hotel combines a lot of theories, throwing not only the idea of a physical hell (albeit mixed with Dante's idea of what hell is the Inferno, but to be fair a lot of the church has adopted that idea too) but the idea of annihilation, which HH calls "extermination."
See, in Christianity, there's a lot of debate about hell. Like, since 2000 years ago. The reason is because a lot of Bible verses seem to indicate hell, but others indicate the eventual redemption and salvation of absolutely everything in the universe, so you have Christian universalism tracing itself back just as long. But, setting aside universalism, people who do believe in hell tend to fall into one of two camps:
Physical hell, aka suffering for eternity, or annihilation: the idea that souls that aren't saved end up annihilated, or snuffed from existence. HH combines both of them, wherein everyone lives in hell but then every so often heaven "exterminates" a certain number of sinners.
And then you also have Catholic purgatory, which is also adapted in HH in that... for most Christians, physical hell doesn't offer the ability to redeem yourself. Chance over, you're dead. But, Catholic Christianity, which draws on ideas of praying for the dead, has the idea that people can improve themselves or be prayed out of it and into heaven. This seems to be somewhat similar to the idea of Charlie's hotel, in that sinners can improve, redeem themselves, and rise to heaven.
And, I mean, it's already kinda worked. Sir Pentious acted out Jesus' words: Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13).
But anyways, the branch of theology that deals with the afterlife is eschatology. And Hazbin Hotel takes on a related form of theology as well, a type of theology I've only seen covered in stories once before (The House in Fata Morgana): atonement theory.
Atonement theory is something I remember well from my theology 101 class, as in I remember sitting with a friend and her turning to me and being like, "okay, so we know Jesus' death and resurrection give us eternal life, but we have no idea how or why?" To which the answer was "basically, yeah."
Most of the white, American evangelical church is very "penal substitutionary atonement," but the reality is that this theory has only been popular for the past few hundred years. It's also, imo, somewhat scripturally unsound. But there are a lot of other theories, and sometimes the theories overlap. Here's a fairly decent summary. (I'm in general a believer in Christus Victor.)
So how does atonement theory tie into Hazbin Hotel? Well, essentially the scene where Charlie and Vaggie are debating with Emily, Sera, Adam, Lute, and others in heaven is them going over various atonement theories and realizing that they actually know nothing at all. How does one get to heaven? How is one saved? They don't know.
Sera criticizing Emily for asking questions was also very relatable, and I feel for Sera. She's genuinely scared but the truth will set you free, Sera. John 8:32. Anyways, the point is like... the angels are an organized religion, an evangelical church, that preaches about simplicity but mistakes shallowness for simplicity and discourages depth and discovery.
Anyways, the whole crux of theological study and atonement theories is that they should promote humility. We don't know for certain on this side of the curtain. That's okay. So what do we have to guide us?
Love. After all, God is love (1 John 4:8).
Charlie is Jesus
"Why would you endanger your immortal life for these sinners?"Ā
Adam, the absolute worst, says the above to Charlie in the finale.
I mean... look. That's literally the premise of Christianity. That the immortal son of God comes down to earth, lives with sinners, loves us, and dies to save us. However that happens. Charlie even responds:
"They're my family!"
In other words, she loves them. Yeah, sure, they're destined for extermination, but they are going to be exterminated over her dead body.
In a lot of branches of Christianity, and even in some creeds--though I'm going to give into my pet peeves here and state that it is NOT Scriptural and relies on the faulty assumption that God is bound by time, when I think God exists outside of it--state that Jesus descended into hell after his death and took all the souls of people who were saved prior to his coming to earth to heaven. Again, I think that's small-minded at best. But, the idea that Charlie is working among them to bring them to heaven is pretty reminiscent of this idea. And I don't hate it lol.
Charlie sees worth inherent in everyone, and no matter what they've done, thinks there's a future for them. Honestly we need people like her on this earth.
Angel Dust
Angel Dust is clearly my favorite character. Bite back your shock, I know (I have a type). But his name is also a fascinating multi-layered pun.
Angel is clearly foreshadowing his endgame. Let's be real, we all know Angel is ending up as an angel. And "angeldust" is of course a name for PCP, and considering Angel's drug habits, yeah.
But, dust also has another meaning to it. See, when Adam was created in Genesis 2:7, the words in Hebrew are "apar min ha'adamah," which is translated literally as "dust of the ground." So the dust is what creates Adam, literally "ground."
In other words, I very much expect Angel Dust to end up being foiled with Adam even more so. Adam might be the first man, but Angel is the first sinner working towards redemption. And let's be real, for all Angel's flaws, he's already a better person than Adam. And if there's any hope for Adam (not that I particularly care if there is but) it'd be through realizing that he and Angel aren't actually different after all. Conversely (and not necessarily mutually exclusively), Angel might serve as a more symbolic "adam" in that he becomes the person all sinners look to for hope. Which, y'know, since "the last Adam" is also a Scriptural term for Jesus...
And so it is written,Ā āThe first man Adam became a living being.āĀ The last AdamĀ becameĀ a life-giving spirit. (1 Corinthians 15:45).
I fully expect Angel's arc, alongside Charlie's, to bring life and redemption for everyone around them. Maybe, maybe even the dramatic "all" of Colossians 1:20 (which means, literally, all, everything, everywhere, in the entire universe).
Closing Thoughts
But honestly, regardless of how the story ends--besides that it will presumably end happily because HH is at its core feel-good despite being profane--season one at least has got good theology. Why? Because it's digging into the questions that theology is concerned with. It's digging into the ideas of human nature, of what it means to be a good person, of what it means to redeem oneself, of affirming how precious each individual human soul is.
It doesn't offer cheap answers, and it specifically calls out the white American evangelical church for how it purports to be simple but actually just confuses people and punishes them for things they can't help, that creates more stumbling blocks than it does shine a light. And it does it in a way that is scandalous. Offensive to many religious people.
But, y'know, Jesus was pretty scandalous too.
So I really love the story so far because it emphasizes what I find so beautiful about my religion, and criticizes the parts that have also hurt me. I don't think it's remotely aiming to be a Christian allegory or anything like that, and I don't at all think anyone has to be religious to enjoy it or gain the core message of it, but I do think that it's doing a hell of a lot more good in the world message-wise than most evangelical movies of the past 30 years.
#hazbin hotel#hamliet reviews#theology#christianity#charlie morningstar#jesus#angel dust#angel hazbin hotel
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trying to find like 1 buddhist temple near me to go to and braved reddit to find commentary on different sects and it's such a cesspool of both completely unaware hypocrisy and "all religion bad" shit.
the way americans talk about modern buddhism is like "it's such a cult...they require membership dues...and they get political sometimes...and the leaders are really charismatic speakers" as if. as if every community center doesn't have rent to pay. and makes commentary on society at large. and the people they choose to speak are probably good speakers. every christian church in america also does all these things. like if these are the requirements for a cult then every religion also does this and so of course the other half of the reddit comments go "and THIS is why all religions are cults!!"
I feel like I have a pretty good radar for cult behavior after matrix bullet dodging at least 2 in college and these people online are specifically talking about the sect my grandparents & extended family are in. and it's weird because the complaints are primarily philosophical in nature, like "they communicate with the spirit realm!!" and idk how to emphasize to people that it doesn't strictly matter how weird you think a belief system is, that's not what makes something a cult. it's whether or not the cult subsumes the person's life, isolates them from non-participants, forces an emotional dependency, deifies and makes unimpeachable a still-living leader, and/or requires an ever-escalating financial stake. the average evangelical church ticks off most boxes in this list, the temples they're talking about don't do any of these things, they have esoteric takes that at best will get an eyebrow raise in conversation.
like it's not terribly surprising that american ex-christians are put off by the idea of people connecting with their ancestors and deceased loved ones because of its contradiction with both atheism and the christian afterlife - and I wouldn't lump it in with spirit medium grifters since people are literally not being paid for this service. it's just really odd sifting through all of the commentary because I absolutely agree that any religious group can turn into a cult, I don't think buddhism is immune to that at all, I don't think any belief system is at its core immune to becoming an isolating force in someone's life - but it's just wild seeing these sects being but through a Good Religion purity test that no christian church would pass just based on the surface level strangeness of their beliefs versus the actual identifiers of what a cult looks like.
but anyway that's a long tangent. the temple that I'm looking at is not part of that sect but a different one, it's the only one within reasonable driving distance with an up-to-date calendar of events and responsive staff, and I'm feeling very cunty right now and I'm seeing that is has had concerns raised about it in the past of being "too political" "too fast-growing" "too aggressive in recruiting" and I simply love placing myself in circumstances and then telling everyone about the drama I find. that is worth jotting down. I'm going to record all my experiences and report back, and if I do end up in a cult, y'all will be the first to know - and if it's an unremarkable place with a normal staff, you will also know. I would preemptively rate my cult susceptibility a 3 out of 10 - but looking at this temple I'm going to say it's a 2 out of 10 because everyone there is white and I'm put off by overly-enthusiastic white people.
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Some really chilling points about evangelical christianity here, but I am sorta fascinated here by the points about "real love" and spirtual ecstasy.
As a child, I wasn't raised with church. Both my parents were very opposed to dragging me (or themselves) to church on a regular basis. I didn't escape indoctrination because my mother and relatives did make sure to provide me with bible story books in various levels of cloying, but I didn't have Church Time. It was up to me to make up my own weird beliefs around the stories I was reading, lmao. (Some of which I am still unpacking alongside my general cultural christianity.)
In middle school I gave up on christianity, though, and start to explore other religions and practices. Because I had read and been told that god's love was special and that I should feel special in church. And I didn't. I had questions about what I was reading and my experiences in churches had never been transcendent. I felt like there was something I was supposed to be feeling and getting out of this whole thing that I simply wasn't feeling. I was an open-minded agnostic through high school and went to church once or twice with friends (who, in retrospect, really wanted to earn church points by "saving" me, lmao), willing to give the experience another shot to wow me. And I only felt lonely and alienated and puzzled by what everyone around me seemed to tap into.
It probably didn't help that the later churches met in spaces that were bland, featureless rooms that you could have held a business conference in. The church I remember as a child at least had some low key stained glass and some scale and atmosphere. It was a space designed to evoke feelings and even at 5 years old, I instinctively wanted to whisper. I don't remember being bowled over by awe for god though. I remember giggling while eating cheap chocolate cookies. I remember swallowing my chewing gum and worrying that it would be in my stomach forever.
Anyway, no regrets about never feeling god. I think religions and churches can provide people with community and connection. I think beliefs can provide a narrative structure to life and a connection to history. Church attendance and rituals can be very satisfying. But any church that preaches that only belief in their faith can provide you with real love is trying to hold you back from connecting to the rest of the world as person. There is love and awe-inspiring moments to be found with all sorts of people and all sorts of activities regardless of whether or not church approves of them. And it is real love.
I said this a couple years ago (one year ago?) and most of the comments on tumblr actually did not know this, so to reiterate what youāre up against: a VERY mainstream belief among American Christian fundamentalists is that they are the only ones who experience love. They raise their kids to think that everyone āliving in sinā (all other faiths, atheists, and LGBT people) goes through life sad and empty, falsely believing they know what love feels like, and will never know until theyāre āsaved.ā Itās not as simple as them diminishing the humanity of others out of hate, but being deeply brainwashed to believe others are automatically mentally less human. They are also very good at convincing new converts that they really are experiencing this ārealā love for the āfirst time;ā the same way members of all cults can become wholeheartedly convinced that theyāre receiving psychic alien messages or communing with spirits. Cult conditioning is simply that powerful.
#religion#i'm not saying i was immune to church propaganda#i'm just saying I was a weird child and if I'd gone to a predatory cult church more often as a child they could have really screwed me over#letting go of trying to feel god's love was such a weight off my shoulders#i cannot imagine what neuroses I would have developed if i had been actually raised in one of these churches#evangelical christianity
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Christianity for Dana Terrace and TOH
I have to wonder about and consider The Owl House as an expression of Dana Terrace's own nuanced relationship with Christianity. We know she was raised in a Catholic school, and we've heard of the out-of-context incident where she got put into a headlock by a nun as a child (idk if context even matters in this scenario);
Plus, there's the show's obvious critiques of Christianity, via Belos' fanaticism and demonization of witches, plus his superiority complex and belief in predestination. And then we have Tarak bonding with King as a potential father figure, even being mistaken for his dad, only to sacrifice him anyway for the Grand Huntsman despite whatever hesitations he has; This story beat echoes the tale of Abraham and Isaac. The Emperorās Coven/Cult is clearly Catholic.
But at the same time, we have Steve's reminiscing over the Titan as perhaps just some dude who doesn't know what he wants, either; And he's saying this as a former member of the Emperor's Coven, which itself applied a very Christian understanding of the Titan via Belos. We have Luz meeting the Titan in-person, and seeing that he's not some deity but just a person who meant well and tried his best.
The show emphasizes people being able to improve and get better and needing that chance, plus what I've said about Luz possibly being meant to represent a more positive, accurate portrayal of Jesus Christ; She dies and is resurrected with the power of the Titan, who isn't quite God but maybe she is in a meta sense? It's complicated.
So to psychoanalyze a real life person through their art (which I guess is what single author classes does to a mf), I have to consider that it's not as simple as Dana condemning Christianity as a whole; More than likely, a specific brand of Christianity, namely Evangelicalism, Catholicism, etc. We have to remember that what we often criticize as Christianity is more so a specific denomination, or group of; Christianity is a widespread religion comprised of countless different takes and interpretations of the Bible.
And IIRC (a source would be helpful), I think Dana even clarified that her experience with Catholic school wasn't wholly negative either? She did not consider herself abused, or at least abused abused. Her feelings might be mixed, especially because one doesnāt need to personally experience the worst to know about it; That is another way in which one might become critical.
I don't think Dana is outright resentful of Christianity as a whole, she might just have complicated feelings, criticisms, and thoughts; Tbf, this is how many denominations came to being. So when I see Steve reflecting on the Titan, and Luz getting to meet him... I think these scenes are, in a way, Dana making peace with the idea of God in her life; Getting to consider her relationship with and belief (or lack thereof) in him, and his paternal status to the world as a whole.
She's also recognizing his fallibility, God is a person and like any person his insight and support is illuminating, but not all-encompassing; It's not doctrine, it's just advice, from one person to another. So when the Titan reassures Luz, or Dana, he's not saying she's the specialest chosen one in the world; He's just someone with a lot of experience who can provide some guidance and clarification on life, not unlike Eda.
The Titan saying goodbye to Luz feels like Dana being able to part on -ultimately- good terms after resolving that major anxiety in her life, on a final note that is no longer resentful and more a fond memory overall. Itās her moving to the next stage of her life, as Luz herself does, now able to carry and believe in herself, and not need that same guidance to figure out what to do.
Itās a coming of age moment appreciating what was given by a paternal figure, with Dana now comfortable exploring other beliefs and practices after making her farewell with Christianity by realizing it isnāt absolute, yet still treasuring what it was able to give her. So she carries on what she can, at least in spirit, likeā¦ Luz and the glyphs, remembering them, and now having her own palisman to continue her love of magic that the Titan helped support. So we have both the narrative meaning to Luz behind all of this, and the real-life significance for Dana herself, which arenāt quite the same but there is overlap. And thereās also the other meaning for Dana in how the Titan represents her father, which weāve already discussed.
So The Owl House and the storyline of the Titan could be Dana's own nuanced takeaway from Christianity; Her exploring how she feels about it, what she appreciates, what she doesn't, how it fits into the rest of her worldview. And I donāt think Dana is trying to convert anyone, nor condemn those who feel irreverent. I think sheās more about deconstructing Christianity to reconstruct it.
Be Gay, Do Witchcraft of course, I think there is a catharsis in exploring that. And also, because the sentiment behind that phrase might be less about Christianity being inherently evil, and more so that many queers donāt care what evangelicals think of them anymore; So sure, weāll humor your fears for fun, we ARE the demons weāre accused of being. Itās like Eda saying āWell we aināt!ā in response to Belosā claim that humans are inherently better. Plus demonized belief systems that arenāt Christianity deserve validity as well, hence the pagan influences being portrayed positively, with the narrative questioning the dismissal of certain ideas being ādemonicā or āsavageā.
And of course, co-existence IS possible. And I find this important because it can be easy to just dismiss religion entirely in an edgy internet atheist type of way, but in the end one must reconcile that religion means a lot for a lot of people, many whom ARE chill and willing to co-exist; The narrative presents the spirituality of the Boiling Isles as something precious, for example. All belief systems are valid, not just these select few.
And maybe they donāt have to be mutually exclusive with queerness or āalternativeā lifestyles, because a lot of people from these demographics arenāt quite comfortable with just getting rid of religion entirely, and theyāre entitled to still maintaining that connection. If feminists can still have a nuanced relationship with femininity, so can believers with their religion.
People are simply asking to be allowed to exist and practice their beliefs in peace, they arenāt really calling for the eradication of the other. Just as queers donāt actually intend to abolish heterosexuality, they just want to be left alone. Let people decide how they feel about certain things, instead of making them get rid of it for their own good; That is every individualās personal choice, just as yours is. And that feels relevant, given how much Choice is a theme in this show, and especially in the finale in which Luz meets the Titan properly, with the Titan emphasizing this agency to her.
#If Iām right then this really resonates with me as a queer with a complicated relationship with Christianity where Iāve seen good and bad#the owl house#Dana Terrace#Christianity#boiling isles titan#analysis#meta#religion#speculation
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Honestly I do not know if this oversharing but as someone who both loves their mother and firmly believes she should never have had children (and wonders if she only did for. Various religious and insecurity reasons). I appreciate your empathy for Josephine and the exploration of her story. I am also relating to pieces Logan more than ever, and am two seconds away from writing a projection fic of him
pspspspsps get in the sandbox with me you know you wanna
and yeah theyre such a. i dont want to say demonized demographic but there is something to be said for the way that women who were once conservative or even still are, or even straight women in general, are given this kind of "what did you expect" energy when their husbands abuse them or their lives make them miserable
i know we all love the 'leopards eating peoples faces party' joke but i also. You Are not Immune To Propaganda - and neither is she. and the leopard are very good at convincing people theyre not going to eat their face
im not saying we should all get in a party bus with a bunch of republican women and abusive/neglectful mothers and throw them a rager, of course not but as someone who was raised in an evangelical cult i am acutely aware that i was one older christian boy taking an interest of me from being that woman
anyway teal deer reproductive rights, even for women we dont like all that much
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If you're interested in hypnosis in any way, I think it's important to understand the role it played in the Satanic Panic, and the damage it caused.
I'm not saying you can't practice hypnosis. I'm saying that you need to be aware of what can happen when people practice hypnosis in a misinformed way.
To really oversimplify things, in the 1970s and 1980s, your Evangelical types were really buttmad over stuff like civil rights, women having jobs, and also legal abortion.
Evangelicals believe everything is a war between ultimate good and ultimate evil. Everything they disapprove of is therefore the work of Satan.
Everything they disapprove of, of course, is whatever they feel doesn't serve their Christofascist politics. Also, convincing believers that evil was lurking everywhere in the outside world was a damn good way to keep them in the fold, where they felt safe.
Hence you had Evangelicals claiming that rap and rock and roll were Satanic and loaded with subliminal messages encouraging the youth to commit sin. They claimed that Halloween was a Satanic holiday and trick-or-treating was some kind of Satanic rite, which meant that kids who went trick-or-treating were secretly worshiping Satan without knowing it!
Then you had scam artists like Mike Warnke come along and claim that there were actual Satanic cults plotting the downfall of good Christian society.
And then there was Michelle Remembers, a book that supposedly describes the totally real and not at all confabulated memories of a woman who would fall into trance states in her therapist's office and recount the most theatrically ghastly tales of things a Satanic cult supposedly did in Victoria, British Columbia.
And this is where hypnosis comes in.
See, there was this whole idea that hypnosis was a foolproof method for recovering lost memories, and all kinds of everyday mental issues were chalked up to repressed memories. Supposedly, people could be cured of their ills by uncovering the repressed memories.
People would undergo hypnosis and "remember" Satanic abuse, often from family members. The way these "memories" often contained elements from popular horror films, antisemitic conspiracy theories, and witch hunt propaganda raised fewer eyebrows than it should have.
Best case scenario, families were torn apart as children became convinced their parents were Satanic abusers. Worst case scenario, innocent people were put on trial and put in prison for crimes they never committed.
The lack of forensic evidence didn't stop people. They simply declared that the Satanists must have hidden or destroyed all of the evidence. Never mind the amount of work it would have required. Never mind the utter impossibility of hiding the evidence in some cases.
Also, the people who'd undergone therapy were often traumatized by their confabulated memories. Far from curing them, the hypnotherapy only made things worse, because they believed it was all real.
Anyone who has any interest in hypnosis, hypnotherapy, or even any sort of trance work should keep all of this in mind. Not everything you experience is going to be "real." And just as stress can make you more likely to have nightmares, it can also make you more likely to see scary things while in a trance.
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Pre-October 7th, I had some ex-evangelical friends and they would always talk about how horrible their upbringing was and describe it as abuse and refer to their families and churches as cults because they were basically born and raised for the sole purpose of spreading Christianity and right-wing ideology. They would talk about how they used to have fantasies about being murdered for being Christian and going down in history as martyrs. And about their fantasies of going to war against non-Christians and converting or killing them. They readily acknowledged that the way they were raised was incredibly fucked up.
And yet they applaud the people doing the same thing to children in Gaza.
They call it abuse when American Christian children are indoctrinated into violence and bigotry from birth, but call it resistance when Palestinian Muslim children are subjected to the same thing. They call their American Christian parents and pastors cult leaders for telling kids that their greatest aspiration should be martyrdom, but call Palestinian Muslim parents and teachers and imams "freedom fighters" for raising children to be suicide bombers and human shields.
It is so fucking hypocritical it's sickening. The exact same things they say broke them and destroyed them and fucked them up for life are being done to kids in Gaza and these privileged little assholes are cheering it on.
.
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Maybe this is a stupid thing to express, I've just seen so much Isr*eli violence today and I feel like maybe you can help me understand. All I've heard from people talking about the situation in Palestine is that it's "very complex" and requires a lot of research into the history of the place to get a "better understanding" of it. But like. Why can't they work to solve the conflict without butchering people? Why is the international community allowing Israel to keep doing what they're doing? I guess the answer is their American alliance, but is there no one willing to step up and actually do anything about this? What can I do about this? I've raised money, I've boycotted, I've signed petitions, it feels so hopeless, is it all for nothing?
Politically, americans need a stronghold in the middle east and use Israel as a puppet state. If there was an armed conflict between Israel and the Arab state, the US would be the first to intervene on the side of Israel, thus keeping the other states from intervening. The U.S keeps vetoing any resolution the UN presents on anything relating to the illegal occupation of Palestine, effectively making the UN one of the most useless peacekeepers in the world. So Israel makes a valuable ally in the geopolitical game. With the Trump administration, several deals and political changes undermined a lot for the Palestinian struggle for liberation not to mention the large support for the Christian right. Furthermore, negotiations become challenging when the Israeli Regime keeps allowing Zionist settlers to colonize Palestinian lands and evict Palestinians from their homes, and with every UN resolution that is presented to prevent these actions, the Americans keep vetoing them away. As a result, Palestinians have no choice but to retaliate, and when they do, they become demonized by Western media. When a Palestinian Christian journalist was shot in the head, the US and Israeli government did nothing, showing that Israel is an apartheid state that will surpress Palestinian voices and continue its oppression of the Palestinian people. The international community (sans the US) does condemn Israel, but there is little they can do with the Veto system in place. However, US influence of the MENA region has decreased significantly over the past few years.
Religiously, there is the ever-growing Evangelical movement in the U.S that adheres to the idea that Jewish people should be allowed to return to Israel so that they can hasten the return of Jesus, who will convert them enmass (144.000 to be precise). This is also referred to as Christian Zionism and is a very popular doctrine among the Evangelical sector. The Christian right is extremely vocal in its support for Israel in the hopes that Israel will become fully Jewish (this means they won't take any other Christian life into account). This idea is rooted in the Book of Revelation where the idea of a Jewish nation will signify the end times, and only can the apocalypse take place once the Holy Land becomes exclusively Jewish. Israel becomes a large tourist attraction for Evangelical Christians as a result and there are even Evangelicals disguised as Jewish people (such as Messianic Jews) that go around and lure Jewish people in the hopes of converting them.
In short, Fuck Zionism and the settler colonial state in general, and the Evangelical Christian Church is an evil death cult that advocates genocide in order to bring about the apocalypse.
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i was talking about this in a reblog, but i decided to make this its own post, because i've seen some conversation that's expressing discomfort with stampede asserting that dependent/bulbed plants don't have souls, and that's not what's being conveyed in the slightest.
tl;dr: conrad's speech about souls is not something we're supposed to take as objective fact about the stampede universe ā the thesis isn't dependent plants don't have souls, the thesis is oh holy shit, they're doing eugenics.
conrad's not an unbiased narrator. he's a half-dead, guilt-stricken eugenicist parroting the talking points of an obsessive cult leader whose history book was the bible.
so letās break down exactly what the fuck weāre being told, because itās not exposition weāre meant to take at face value.
(under the cut for length, spoilers, and discussion of eugenics, ableism, christianity, cults, experimentation, and sexual assault ā both as metaphor and taken literally, as seen in ep11)
first, some context. we can't trust the exact visuals of what we see in the flashbacks in ep11, given that what knives is doing is explicitly memory manipulation, but we can get a few broad strokes about knives' childhood experiences:
a significant, memorable source of his understanding of humanity came from the bible. now anyone with even a passing knowledge of the bible (especially raised-xtian kids who had the opportunity or the obligation to read it at a young age, possibly to the exclusion of other, secular entertainment) will understand how much that explains. ļ»æ
what the scene with the bible is also conveying, is that knives' mental/moral framework is a christian one. which, obviously ā the eye of michael is evangelicalism but even more of a death cult. this also explains knives' fixation on the concept of "souls", but put a pin in that, we'll come back to it. ļ»æ
ļ»æknives and vash are painfully recognizable as gifted/neurodivergent/disabled children. vash is the underperformer, the high-needs kid ā treated gently, told how heās loved for how he is, but always aware of his own shortcomings. and knives is the golden child, the gifted one. he has powers (special powers, rem tells him, that he should hide from everyone, because if Anyone But I Knew, They Would hurt youĀ ā put a pin in that, we will come back to it)
finding tesla cements knivesā worldview that humanity will hurt and exploit plants given the justification, which makes him fear for vash, who canāt provide anything for humanity ā but tesla also teaches knives that there is something particularly special about independents. something worthy of study. (see: knives still allowing experiments with presumably plant tissue to continue for 150 years)
and then we meet knives as an adult, and conrad tells us what knives believes: that he has a soul, and vash has a soul, and dependent/bulbed plants do not, that their souls are on some higher plane, and if knives gives them souls, everything will be okay. they wonāt need humans anymore, because he doesnāt need humans. he doesnāt need to eat or drink. he can make all his sisters Just Like Him, and that will fix their exploitation.
this is, of course, some fucking bullshit. thereās a reason, narratively, we see vash communicating with his sisters before this reveal ā theyāre not āhusksā or āsoullessā, they move and react, theyāre clearly conscious and sentient. they donāt speak, but they communicate, they act willfully.
so, what is knives thinking, where did he get it, and whatās actually happening?
our Context Pins, for context:
as much as knives believes himself separate from humanity, his view of the world is very human, albeit held at a distance from humanity, and very specifically christian
knives was told, over and over and over by rem, that he was special. that he had special, wonderful powers, and that made him different from everyone else. his brother, and other plants. heās special.
so the train of thought goes like this:
plants are exploited by humanity (a true statement) => the only way for plants to not be exploited is for humanity to not exist (an understandable conclusion, given his experience with tesla) => but plants need humans to survive => knives is completely self-sufficient => if he makes the other plants like him, theyāll survive on their own.
add the golden-child personal superiority from remāsā¦ interesting parenting (believe me, sheās a whole different post on her own) and the concept of souls cribbed from the christian framework he was raised in, used as a placeholder word for whatever knives believes he has that his sisters don't, and it starts to makes sense how knives got from point A to point E(ugenics)
and itās pretty clear weāre supposed to find this framework horrifying even before anything else happens, because ā what about vash? what about the percentage of independents who donāt produce anything? who are conduits, specifically āusefulā for communicating with dependent plants, who canāt communicate like humans. who eat food and drink water to survive.
that could be up to 50% of independent plants. who would die without humans regardless of whatever knives does to them.
and speaking of what knives does to themā¦
stampede is not a subtle show, especially not with its visual language. we arenāt supposed to listen to a word knives is saying, or take anything he says (or his lackeys/cult members say) at face value, because what knives is doing, in between breaking vashās brain to get him to sit and stay, is using vash to assault his sisters.
thereās a reason the visual language of that scene is forced impregnation ā whatever knives is doing to them, āsoulsā or otherwise, he certainly didnāt ask what they wanted before he did it.
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idkwtf that one anon is talking about. As someone who was raised christian(I consider myself agnostic now) and has done bible study, nowhere does the the bible say that pagan gods are fallen angels. Neither old or new testament say anything like that. I'm not even sure how someone could even misunderstand any passage as saying that. their attempt to pose as a christian is laughably pathetic and bizarre. I haven't even seen maga evangelicals make that drastic of a misinterpretation of the bible.
dear catlady,
some cults do believe this sort of thing but I still think it's serpents posing as a christians to misgender himself and try to make me look bad
yours
Cecil
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I know I havenāt touched on fanfiction in like literal years but once Iām done with the monster matches I have lined up, I want you all to know Iāve been sitting on the bitchiest Michael Langdon/reader fix-it-fic imaginable except itās written by someone who has fucking beef with the American wonder bread evangelism/fundamentalism portrayal of satanism in ahs. as someone raised in a literal Christian cult let me grasp at the beating heart of the idea (good) and raise you a story with actual substance.
#itās my birthday and Iāve been drinking but#but literally ahs apocalypse?? nothing burger.#LIKE GOOO GIRL GIVE US NOTHING#ITS LITERALLY JUST OLD CHRISTIANITY REHASHED. THANKS BABE.#oh humans are inherently evil? bitch fucking SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.#thatās literally Christianity.#michael langdon
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I didn't realize you were pagan(don't know how I missed that), but I've always been interested in the different practices! so if you don't mind sharing;
š§ā¤ļøš®š?
š§ - What led you to your practice?
I'm going back to the religion of my youth. Before my mom turned fundamentalist evangelical Christian and joined a cult, she was a Wiccan/Pagan (little of both), and she raised me in that until I was about 6 or 7.
ā¤ļø - What's one memory of your practice that you reflect the most fondly on?
I work with Loki a lot, and one of my favorite memories of them is listening to the song "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga, and I was dancing and screaming the lyrics at the top of my longs, and I could feel them with me, their presence surrounding me as I gave in to self-love and pure exuberance.
š® - Do you delve into topics like the occult or the mysteries? Do you do anything esoteric?
Not really? I'm a much more casual Pagan than most, I'm very close with my deities but I don't really do much like that. I give offerings, I pray, and occasionally do divination and such. I'm like the Pagan equivalent of a "Christmas and Easter Catholic"- a "Sahmain and Yule Pagan", if you will.
š - Do you celebrate any festivals? If so, which ones?
Not really, either. It might change when I'm not living with my mom anymore (she's VERY fundamentalist Christian). Some days, I'll devote whole days to my deities, but those are almost like my own little holidays. I would like to celebrate the old ones someday, though.
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Look, I hate to be the one to say it, but if you grew up in a cult and youāre still religious, you never escaped your cult. Youāre not a cult survivor, youāre literally still a cult member. I hope you get the help you need.
(Iām assuming youāre referencing my tags on this post?? Lemme know if Iām off-base! š
)
Oooookay! Little rant under the cut, because while it is a bit of a sensitive topic, I think I have the right to answer honestly!
TW: Religious trauma, abusive relationships, homophobia, just generally deep shit about toxic religious culture
Friendo, with all due respect, you donāt get to tell me what I am or what Iām not when it comes to my religious beliefs. Iām sorry if that sounds harsh, but Iāve spent the past five years navigating my own thoughts and beliefs after twenty-odd years of being told exactly what to think and how to believe, and thatās something I wonāt allow to be belittled or diminished.
I did grow up in a cult. My lifelong church was an Assemblies of God church, which is a denomination already known for beingā¦ kinda intense, but I got the āprivilegeā of seeing it morph into a fledgling cult as I grew up; gradually cutting all associations with all churches outside the denomination, thinly-veiled messages of fear and hate becoming less and less veiled, increasingly vigilant calls to action against āThe Enemy,ā which went from a vague way of referencing Satan and his influence to referencing literally anyone who wasnāt part of the congregation. I dated a guy who sincerely believed, and preached to a room full of āAmen!ās, that Catholics are all Hell-bound and non-Evangelical Protestants werenāt far behind. I didnāt even think twice about the logic of suggesting a 2000-year-old religion was wrong and illegitimate prior to the past hundred years or so. I was just enamored by his devotion and wisdom.
I was always queer and suppressed it to varying degrees of success before getting my first taste of freedom in college and falling into a relationship that became abusive. I came back home after dropping out, broken and confused, and ran back to the only place Iād ever felt welcomed, but realized pretty quickly that Iād been deemed one of the very same outsiders I was warned about growing up. I threw myself into repentance. I desperately tried to regain favor in the eyes of the church and the God I was raised to believe in. I made the mistake of finally opening up and trusting the pastor enough to confide in him about my abusive relationship, to which he responded with a lecture about MY wrongdoings, followed by him outing me to the entire congregation. One day after service when I was about 21 or 22, I approached my dad while he was talking with the pastorās wife, and she stopped mid-sentence when she saw me and just walked away in the opposite direction. That was a pretty common reaction people had to me after being outed, but I think that was the moment I realized I had failed to atone and failed as a Christian.
Through it all, my dad spoke with conviction of a God who was gentle, loving, merciful, and kind. I realized late in my teenhood that, for all his devotion to our church, the God he spoke of wasnāt the same God our pastor spoke of. My dad remains a victim of the cult because he was raised to believe all figures of authority are well-meaning ā a few months back, my mom tried to sit him down and explain plainly that several of my psychological issues are a direct result of religious trauma inflicted by the church he raised me in, and he sincerely couldnāt wrap his head around the notion. But even as that church has morphed into a cult, heās held belief in a God and a Christianity more forgiving. I realized during my last few visits to the church, spread over the course of a couple of years, that heād also been othered, if not quite as hard and suddenly as I was. Even now heāll express frustration that no one seems to consider his ideas or opinions when he used to be considered a go-to decision maker.
My dadās no leftist; heās proudly conservative, supports Trump, and hides his homophobia behind a veil of sympathy for those ācalled to celibacyā or with a āpropensity towards sodomyā (both terms heās used to describe me, to my face). I love him, and we have a good relationship, but I sincerely worry about what might happen when he finds out Iām trans. His one deviation from the church, his belief that Godās much more willing to love and forgive than the pastor tells us, is nevertheless enough to have him considered an outlier. Being ostracized and forced to look from the outside in allowed me to see that and realize āHey, hold up, that doesnāt make sense.ā
So for the past half decade, Iāve been doing something that goes directly against everything I was ever taught: examining my beliefs and determining what I truly believe and what I only believe out of indoctrination and fear. Looking at the Scriptures in their original forms and historical-political contexts, and examining its English translations through the same lens. Discerning the difference between whatās biblical and whatās Christlike, how much of Christianity is Godās true word and how much is the agenda of men, challenging myself to question everything Iāve ever known and acknowledge that maybe what I learned was just wrong.
Itāsā¦ largely been uphill, but itās a battle Iām not fighting alone. My girlfriend is a huge source of support; having someone thatās so close to me yet so far removed from the system I was brought up in has been invaluable in opening my eyes to just how fucked up some of the stuff Iāve been taught is. I just earlier this year learned that the Rapture isnāt a widespread belief outside of American Evangelicism, and that it as a concept isnāt even an ancient prophecy, but a relatively recent (like, 19th century, popularized in the 20th century) man made doctrine. My girlfriend, who lacks strong religious affiliation but nonetheless knows her Scripture because sheās from the heavily Catholic Slovakia, was absolutely baffled when I explained what I thought was common knowledge to all Christians. She calls the doctrine āUFO Jesusā.
Since I was at least twelve, Iāve lived in constant fear of the Rapture because I was convinced that, as a āsodomiteā who couldnāt bring myself to condemn others like me, all my friends and I would be damned to Hell at any given moment. Itās always been a double-edged sword; fear of damnation is whatās kept me from offing myself several times, but the belief that the Rapture will happen any day and Iāll be tortured for all eternity no matter what I do so thereās really no point in living is a huge part of what got me to the point of wanting to off msyelf in the first place. And Iām learning now that itās not even a common belief within one of the worldās largest religions, least of all to the extent its importance was pressed within our church. I still struggle to say āI was taught a lieā because that fear of being wrong and suffering greatly for it was part and parcel of my participation in church growing up, but dammit Iām striving to find my own truth instead of the supposed truth drilled into me.
So yes, Iām still religious. But I no longer believe in the God I was taught to believe in. I still havenāt quite figured everything out, and I still struggle thanks to a lifetime of indoctrination, but Iām learning to define my own beliefs bit by bit, and I believe in a God of radical love who mourns what so many oppressive sects of Christianity teach and enforce in His name. And if you donāt believe that, thatās fine! Thereās reasons aplenty to be atheistic or antitheistic or religious/spiritual but unaffiliated with Christianity specifically.
But donāt you dare fucking tell me Iām no better now than I was while I was trapped, just because you personally donāt find religion to hold any value. Iām not perfect. I was raised in a deeply flawed ideology and still suffer from holdovers. Iām doing my best to hold myself accountable for those biases as I move forward. But I am, in fact, a victim and a survivor, and Iāve fought like hell to undo the damage done to me and that I did to others while trapped in that system, and I have every right to be frustrated at those efforts being belittled and to be proud of myself for how far Iāve come anyway.
#this probably wonāt stay up for long because I recognize that itās rather dark and personal#but this isā¦ this is a topic I feel very strongly about#I am so fucking tired
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